just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
