It's Friday. Sex?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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