The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
