you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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