My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
