that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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