That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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