Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
