she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize