If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
