So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
