it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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