You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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