his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
