no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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