I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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