we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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