Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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