I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
