Yo dont text me then not text me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
