"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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