I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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