How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
now i know why i became what i already was.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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