Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
