Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
