I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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