yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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