Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
