I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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