Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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