i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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