I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I love you.
Bad choice
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