the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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