Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
