For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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