Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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