that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
