ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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