I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
