are you so shy because you have an std?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
