every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
