There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
