i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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