Got a toothbrush?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
