drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
