): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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