do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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