respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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