Banned from zoo.
Again?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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