And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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