we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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