It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
