Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize