omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
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Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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