I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You are a genius and a whore.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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