You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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